remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize