is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
