Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
