Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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