I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
