OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
