Grow some girl-balls and come out already
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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