I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
