Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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