We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
