I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize