He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
