he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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