we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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