im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
