Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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