I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
