Do you still have your period?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
