You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
