If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
