Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize