Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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