i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
