I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
