try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
