My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
