you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
