Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
