But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
