He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
