I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
