Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
