I queefed so loud it echoed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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