I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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