Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize