so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
