Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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