honey bunches of taint.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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