the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
