I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
