forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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