Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
