i permit you to call me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
