are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
is that a dick in a sweater?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
