He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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