I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
