I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
