.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
