I'm drive I can fine osifer
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
