CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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