3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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