Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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