Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
