If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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