This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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