This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
