Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You have to summon your inner elephant
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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