Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize