Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
