Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
