Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
